Thoughts and scotch
by CandyFlossRain
Summary: Alex is home one night, in her dark apartment, drinking scotch and thinking about her partner. BobbyAlex. Drabble.
1. Scotch

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Law and Order Criminal Intent. I don't make money off these fanfics. I sure as hell wish I did though.

**Author's notes: **I was just...thinking, which is always a dangerous thing. My thoughts, current mood, the music I'm listening to has inspired this little drabble. I got it from one of the episodes where Goren and Eames are in an interrogation room with a suspect and Goren mentioned something about Eames' bad luck with guys. She said something along the lines of, "Yeah, married liars are my specialty." Anyway, enjoy.

* * *

"You are beautiful."

That was always how the first date started. Compliments and flowers, as well as other little charming gifts were plentiful on the first date. That's probably why she liked them so much. All the gentle words, the possible hand holding, the sweet smelling flowers and chocolates. She also loved how the guy would always seem so interested in her, wanting to absorb all the possible information. She had yet to learn though, that, that was a tell-tale sign they were hiding something.

"You look nice tonight."

The second date. Still charming, still nice. Maybe not a lot of flowers this time, but just a single rose. It's still romantic. He'd take her out on a nice little stroll through Central Park, before they settled down at a nice restaurant facing the moonlit river. They would talk in hushed tones, just to have a reason to lean closer to each other. Maybe this date would end with a peck on the cheeks, or if the guy is daring and things seem to be going well, a short kiss on the lips.

"I brought take-out."

And here comes the third date. Now, the third through about the 7th dates began to blur together. Actually, they stopped being actual dates. The guy would come over to her house, sometimes bringing food while other times expecting her to prepare the food. He'd start hanging around a bit more often, and would pay less attention to her. She lived with it though.

But then came the words that destroyed every relationship.

"Sorry, my wife found out about us...and I can't do this anymore."

It always happened like that. How was it that she always got stuck with the married liars? Was there some sort of odd aura around her, the caused the married men to break their vows? She didn't know, and didn't want to know. Finally, about three years into her partnership with Robert Goren, which was how she seemed to be measuring amounts of time lately, she had given up on dating altogether. There was no point in it, and her job took up enough of her time as it was.

These were all the things Detective Alexandra Eames thought about as she sat upon her plush couch, sipping the cold glass of scotch she had in her hands, surrounded only by darkness, since she hadn't bothered to turn on the light.

There had always been one man though, that had never really lied to her, and wasn't married. The man she was stuck with, and closer to than any of her previous boyfriends. Hell, if he wasn't her partner...

No use in thinking those thoughts. He was her partner, and there was nothing she could do about it. Even if he had feelings for her, it wouldn't work out. That was one of the unspoken rules. Two partners couldn't date each other. Whether they were both guys, both girls, or one girl and one guy. Dating your partner was a big 'no-no' in the police department. There were a few who seemed to be able to date their partner outside of work, without it carrying over. Like Mike Logan and Carolyn Barek.

It was obvious to Eames the moment she had seen the two in the park one evening, snuggled together on a park bench talking. She, of course, had stayed hidden away, but hadn't been the least bit shocked.

How could she? When she had feelings for her partner as well.

Yeah, feelings for Robert Goren, the human encyclopedia. She was aware he had girlfriends in the past, and she could only wonder why none of them had worked out. She had actually met one of them once...a nice, intelligent young woman who worked in advertising. That had been the last girlfriend Goren had ever spoken to her about, and she had an odd feeling she had been the last girlfriend Goren had after their partnership had started to look up.

Could that have been a sign?

Nah. She needed a bit more scotch before she could convince herself that her partner might have the same feelings as she did. Acting upon this thought, once she realized her glass was empty, she rose from the couch and padded into the kitchen. Quickly re-filling the glass, she retreated back out to the living room, bringing the bottle with her so she wouldn't have to get up again. Downing half the glass, and making a face, she set both glass and bottle on the coffee table, taking a seat on the couch again.

Now where had she been? Oh that's right, Goren, her partner.

She laughed softly to herself as she thought about the older detective. After five years of working together, he still called her 'Eames', even long after she had started calling him 'Bobby'. Was it just a hard habit for him to break? Or was he really just that impersonal...

No, there was no way he did it on purpose. Plus, he knew how to say her last name just right, so that it would send shivers down her spine. Whether he did it on purpose or not, would be left for another night when she, perhaps, had a bottle of vodka.

Closing her eyes and leaning her head back, her thoughts continued to drift as she practically daydreamed. What would she do if he were to show up right now? What would he do? She smelled faintly of alcohol, but it wasn't that strong. Though, she had a feeling he'd scold her for sitting in the dark, trying to drink away her thoughts and problems. And she'd be more than happy to tell him that she had failed at trying to drink away her thoughts, and was now just drinking for the fun of it. Also, if she was intoxicated, she could blame all these crazy, affectionate thoughts about her partner on the booze and the lack of male contact she had over the years.

Of course, her thoughts were interrupted by a soft rap at the door. Sighing audibly, and almost dramatically, she heaved herself up into a standing position. Straightening up the sweater she was wearing, and making sure the sweat pants she was wearing weren't going to fall off, she padded over to the door. Thanks to the fact she knew her apartment well, and had already gained her night eyes from sitting in the dark so long, she made it to the door without tripping over anything. Rising up onto her toes, she glanced through the peep hole, and almost froze.

Just outside was the subject of her thoughts, dressed in a dark blue long-sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans. Both, were articles of clothing she rarely saw him in.

Lowering herself back onto the flats of her feet, her hand went to the door knob almost immediately, having planned on letting him in. She had second thoughts though, and allowed her hand to drop without touching the cold metal, taking a step back from the door.

She couldn't see him, not in the state she was. Not when all she wanted to do was jump his bones the moment he walked into the room like she knew he was going to.

So instead of opening the door, like normal, the petite detective retreated back to her couch, topped off her scotch and continued sipping. There was another knock, this one more timid than the one before it, before there was silence. A few feet away her phone rang...

And rang.

And rang.

And she ignored it, sitting on the couch, drinking her scotch. Finally, silence over-took the apartment, and she was home-free, left alone to think about her partner, and drink her scotch.


	2. A little Tension

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Law and Order CI...Though if I ever meet Dick Wolf...

**Author's Notes**: Back by popular DEMAND! My few loyal readers wanted more, so I'm going to give them more, even though I had planned for this to only be a one-shot. I figured, what the hell, why not write more if I have an idea?

And yes, I know I'm drifting away from Devastation. I have the first part of chapter nine written...but can't quite figure out how to pick up from there. I'll get around to it.

* * *

"Did you get drunk last night?" she had to give him credit, he hadn't questioned her right when she entered the office that morning. Hell, she almost thought she'd get away Scott free, since it was almost 5pm. But alas, he wasn't going to let her off the hook.

"Why, do I look that bad?" that's right, deflect a personal question with a joke.

"Uh..." great, she had just thrown him between a rock and a hard place. He didn't want to tell her she looked bad, because she was far from it, but he also wasn't sure if she was aware he had been at her apartment last night. "No...you just, didn't answer my calls."

"And you automatically assume I was drunk? How do you know I wasn't just sleeping?"

"Because, Eames, I know you, and you always answer your cell phone." there he went again, saying her name in that certain manner that made her involuntarily shiver, without meaning to.

"Always." she echoed, before shrugging lightly. "Maybe I just wanted to be left alone."

"But, how do you know I wasn't calling about a case or something?"

"Because you were outside my do--" she fell silent, realizing she just gave away the fact she had known he had knocked, but hadn't answered.

"Door." he finished softly for her, frowning. "You knew I was there...why didn't you open the door?"

"Because it was early in the morning, Bobby."

"You sure it wasn't just because you didn't want me to see you intoxicated?" he inquired.

"You have no idea..." she mumbled, shaking her head. Quickly glancing at the clock, she sighed and stood, grabbing her coat and purse. "I'm heading out." she declared, and turned to walk off without another word.

"Wait, Eames!" Goren called out and stood, grabbing his own stuff and hurrying after her. He just caught her as she entered the elevator, and followed her in, glad to find her alone. "Was something wrong last night?" he asked. Alex shrugged, glancing up at the ceiling. "Eames..." he was using his scolding tone. The petite woman glanced at her partner, and took a step backwards as she saw him advancing. Soon enough he was only a few inches away, and she had her back pressed against the wall. His hands came up, and one rested on each side of her head. With his face mere inches away from her's, their noses practically touching, he met her hazel eyes with his dark, chocolate brown ones.

Alex felt the heat, felt his warm body just inches away from his, and wanted nothing more than to arch against him. Her eyes fell to his lips, and she felt the same urges she had felt the previous night. She wanted to feel his lips against her's, his tongue exploring her mouth...

The elevator dinged, the doors opened, and the small detective was brought out of her thoughts. Her cheeks flushed bright red when she realized Goren was watching her with a reasonable amount of concern.

"Eames...?"

"I have to go!" she practically yelped out when she realized their positions, and what she had just been thinking. Without another word, she gently pushed past him and was out the elevator, heading towards her car, walking as fast as she could. Her heart was beating quicker than usual, and her cheeks were warm, still bright red from embarrassment. Climbing into the driver's seat of her car when she reached it, she shut the door, and exhaled slowly, her forehead coming to press again the steering wheel as she tried to calm her racing heart.

* * *

There was a knock on her door later that night. It was only about 7 in the evening, so Alex figured it was either the guy bringing her ordered take-out, or her partner. Her money was on the latter of the two. Sighing, she rose from her seat on the couch and made her way over to the door. Deciding to leave who it was a surprise, she unlocked the door and opened it, almost relieved to find a young Asian man standing at her door, holding a bag. Offering him a smile, she retreated to get her wallet, paid for the food, and took the bag. She watched the young man walk off, before moving to shut the door.

What troubled her, was the fact her door didn't quite shut. Glancing down, she noticed an awfully familiar size 13 shoe keeping her door from closing. Her gaze rose, and she once more found herself gazing into a pair of dark chocolate brown eyes.

"Bobby." the name didn't have much to it. It was more of a gasp of surprise than anything else, and she once more felt her heart beat quickening.

"Um...yeah, could I, come in?" he asked, watching her. Trying to keep her cool, Eames just nodded.

"Of course." leaving the door, she took her food and made her way into the kitchen. Goren shut the door, locked it, and headed after her.

"I would have ordered more if I had known you were coming." she commented, taking out the Chinese food and setting the different containers on the table. "But you are welcome to help yourself to what I have..." she trailed off, glancing at her partner who looked as if he was trying to get a read on her.

"Why did you leave so quickly earlier? Y'know, in the elevator." he questioned. Alex sighed, having an odd feeling he was going to bring that up.

"You just, spooked me I guess." she answered lamely with a shrug. "It doesn't matter. You want a beer?"

"Uh, sure." Bobby watched his partner pad over to the fridge. "I spooked you?"

"Just drop it, Bobby." she stated, shaking her head. "It doesn't matter." she turned and handed him the bottle of beer, shutting the fridge with her foot. Setting the bottle on the counter, she opened the cupboard and leaned up, her shirt rising slightly as she reached for the plates.

"Here, let me get those..." Goren stepped up beside her and easily took hold of the plates, his hand brushing her's in the process.

"Thanks..." she mumbled, not bothering to look at him as she took the plates. Padding over to the table, she set them down, and then realized she had left her beet alone on the counter.

Turning and brushing past Goren, she made her way back over to the counter and grabbed the cold bottle. Turning once more, facing away from the counter, she froze to find herself eye level with her partner's chest. She slowly glanced up at him, eyes gleaming with slight uncertainty as his hands came to rest on the counter, close to her hips. Taking a step forward, he succeeded in practically pinning his partner to the counter, without actually touching her.

"Eames." he stated firmly, and noticed the slight annoyance that flashed in her eyes. "Sorry...Alex." an ever so slight smile passed across his lips as he saw her visibly shiver. "This isn't fear." he whispered softly, leaning down so their faces were once more inches apart. Frankly, he didn't know what he was doing. But ever since the little incident in the elevator...well, he wanted to get closer to her. To get her to react in the same way.

"B...Bobby.." she stated, a hand coming to rest on his chest.

"Shh..." was his reply before he leaned down and captured her lips in a soft kiss. Alex was unsure how to respond at first, but just decided to go along with it. It did feel right after all. Her eyes slid shut as she returned the kiss. The hands on the counter moved to Eames' hips as he pressed his body gently against hers. This caused the smaller detective to moan softly, which gave Goren the chance to slip his tongue into her mouth. Her tongue returned the affection, and rubbed against his. He tilted his head to the side slightly, to deepen the kiss. Alex wanted more, and her body was reacting just like Bobby had wanted it to. It was the feeling of his fingertips on her bare back though, as his hand slipped under the back of her shirt, that brought her crashing back to reality.

Without really thinking about it, she used the hand on his chest to push him away. He hadn't been expecting the sudden movement, and made a surprised sounds that was a mix between a grunt and a yelp. Stumbling backwards, he just blinked at her.

"Uh, Alex?"

"Get out." she stated, gaze downcast.

"What..?"

"Get out!" she exclaimed, gazing up at him, eyes flashing with all sorts of emotion. "Please Bobby...just leave."

"Alright...okay..." holding up his hand, he turned and walked out into the living room. Eames followed after him, but kept a good few feet away. He glanced over his shoulder as he got to the door, eyes locking with his partner's for a moment, before he unlocked the door, opened it, and left, allowing the door to shut with a soft 'click'. Alex, not sure how to react to what had just happened, walked over to the door. After she locked it, she retreated back to the kitchen and cleaned up. After putting everything into the fridge, she shut off the lights and wandered into her dark room.

Stripping down to just her underwear, she climbed into bed, pulling the blankets over herself. Snuggling into her warm bed, she closed her eyes, willing herself to forget about what had just happened.

She couldn't though, and fell asleep dreaming of what it had felt like to kiss her partner.


End file.
